1. to put in a particular position.
2. to find a home for.

I think a lot about words and their meanings, in different languages and different contexts. One word I’ve spent a great deal of time thinking about throughout my life is place: spaces, contexts, communities, cultures, homes. Often in the context of: what places inspire me? where do I see my place in the world? where is my place? I’ve been searching for the answers to those questions all of my life. And a massive amount of thought went into the decision to move to California, and to Napa, to try to make this place mine, and it’s been for most of this strange year a place that has finally made me feel at home. So this week of fires has been psychologically a difficult one to take, as I’ve seen friends lose their houses, businesses, and minds.

On that hillside stood a house until Sunday night. I don’t really have the words to express what I’m feeling right now. This particular place, Teachworth Winery, has been my refuge for this weird COVID year in a new town. This land was a place I could escape to when I was too alone sheltered in my place; where I could help with manual winemaking labor to get my mind off of the world; whose beauty helped me forget how much I missed my family, giving me ample space to gather with a few loved ones. It’s not my home and I cannot lay claim to the pain and shock of the those whose home it is who fled as I did after harvesting the estate wine all day Sunday, beneath the heat of the day and smoke and ash as the Glass fire jumped the valley, while flames appeared on the hillsides once we put the wine to tank and raised our heads after night fell, speeding sped off in our already packed cars, but I feel the strangeness of loss nonetheless.

Work still goes on, and people are still making wines when and where they can this vintage, in some cases moving in and out of fire zones to get things done because winemaking is a passion and a drive as much as it is a job. People will take stock and rebuild where they feel compelled. But it’s an unsettling moment of fear and concern and, for me, questioning what is my, our place in the world, as an individual, as a community, and as a species. I don’t have answers to these questions, just my thoughts, concerns, and existential musings. It’s been a hard week.

The best that I can offer right now is that this is a community full of wonderful, resilient, inspiring people, all of whom have been drawn to the beauty of this place, which is still present agains the background of this fear and loss. Resilient like the vines that so often act like a buffer zone against these fires. So for now, my place is still here. Meanwhile, I encourage you drink California, support these people if and where you can, and don’t count this place out yet.

Photos: Taylor Berkley Boydstun, winemaker for Teachworth Winery and T. Berkley Wines, both of which call this place home.